You want me to write you a song
From a title that you just thought up...
You'll probably find I ain't up to the challenge
'Special' ain't something I can easily manage
Like a cold first date or a loveless marriage
This song's gonna be distinctly average
All my songs have got a little bit of a sadness
This one's got a rhythm to it like we should be dancing'
I could bore the cottontails off of all the rabbits
But the rabbits won't give time of day 'cos they say they don't have it
Peppers and potatoes make an omelette kinda Spanish
Your pepper'll get pickled if you stick it in a bad fridge
When I'm done writing this song I think I'm gonna scrap it
'Cos it's distinctly average
Nothing at all...
The words are kinda workin' and they're wrapped up in a package
Of a boho hobo's guitar jangling
Stompin' my foot 'til the floorboards' damaged
I'll rip 'em and relay 'em with this hammer that I brandish
Finished laying floor I'm gonna make myself a sandwich
Cheese and ham and bread and pickle, little bit of radish
Ranch dip, chilli sauce man I'm gonna ram it
Down into my belly because good-god I'm ravished
This song's over now and I ain't braggin'
But it was distinctly average