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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Watered-down Whisky

I was sitting in a bar. A strip joint, full of Eastern European imports. The beautiful kind that let you fall in love. They get real close, staring with those big, brown eyes, like you got something they want. And you do.

Well, when I had run out of what they wanted, that is, when I had gone broke, when I had finally lost their affection, I was alone.

I said, "Waitress, tonight I know hate.
You've been bringing me watered-down whisky all night did you think that I couldn't taste?
The whisky I been sippin' is what I could be tippin' to the girls that are strippin' on stage".
And in just one blink of her eyes, I lifted my whisky on ice
And I smashed that glass right in her face.

 I moved over to the bar.

I said, "Barman, tonight I know hate.
You been selling me watered-down whisky all night, did you think that I couldn't taste?
The whisky I been sippin' is what I could be tippin' to the girls that are strippin' on stage".
And in just one beat of his heart, I took the bottle from behind the bar
And I smashed that bottle hard right in his face.

Them Eastern Europeans hadn't even stopped dancing. The other patrons couldn't hear me over the music, and though they must have seen me in the reflections of those big, brown eyes, they were in love, and they had money, and that was all. So I went outside.

I said, "Bouncer, could you hail me a cab?
I'm an easy-going man and it's rowdy in there so I've decided to settle my tab.
There's a guy who's gettin' fisty with the waitress 'bout the whisky, my suspicion is he'll get out of hand".
And on the side of the road in the night, the bouncer held my door and said a pleasant good-bye
Just as the owner came out running to profanely tell the bouncer the facts.

Uh-oh.

I said, "Driver, how fast can you drive?
I got a situation unfolding and I'm scared for my life.
I got a fifty in my pocket with your name on, if you want it put your foot down and throw this thing into drive".
Well that car moved pretty damn fast, and once we'd made it to the overpass
I jumped out whilst it was still moving 'cause when I'd said that I had money I had lied.

Yeehaw!!