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Thursday, 2 December 2010

A Happy Song

I've tried drug-lords and street-gangs and prostitution rings
I've tried begging, stealing, selling just about anything
But my hands and my mouth and my feet don't move fast enough
And when you work that kind of job and it all goes wrong
You're on your own, ain't none of your con friends gonna take your fall
And the cops'll be the first to remind you there ain't no one you can trust

So I'm gonna write me a goddam happy song
As soon as something happy comes along
Down life's lonesome road, I suppose you never know what's rolling 'round the bend
All the roads I've been down - nothing happy's shown up yet

I've tried humanitarianism and I've tried vegetarianism
I've tried Buddhism, cataclisms, nihilism and narcissism
But none of that shit seemed to suit me right
I want a six-shooter Magnum and a big ol' hunting knife
A 12-gauge, shots and snares, a big ol' box of fireworks and a rocking chair
I want to make some real noise at night

Well, I've tried loving women but all that I can tell is that they always leave
I've had three wives, four mistresses, a daughter by a priestess and a queen
And with my heart in pieces, sick of women, I got me a dog
Well, that young pup softened me up and I got sweet again
This time with a green-eyed girl by the name of Gemma-Anne
Three months later Gemma-Anne ran off with my truck
And my dog

I won't take no more drinks now boys, I remember last time I took too much
I'll get the shits tomorrow morning and I ain't got nowhere to go and sober up
But I thank you for your company the frustration in my life comes from the loneliness
That and I can't get a job 'cos I ain't got no fixed address
And I can't get a fixed address 'cos I ain't got no job
And you want me to write a goddam happy song


  1. I'd love to hear this song. Sounds like some Merle Haggard in there. I like the line, "three months later Gemma-Anne ran off with my truck and my dog."

    Do you know of David Allan Coe over there? He has a song called "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" - the perfect country and western song.